Epiphany

Sometimes you have to take a step back and
Just let happen what will
After so many years of constantly
"making it happen".... it becomes a reflex
A needy reflex
But life doesn't work that way
Doesn't play by the rules we think we can set for it
Let nature.... be nature
Have expectations
But keep them in check
Strange what happens when you listen to the silence

Want

I want to close my eyes and sleep
To dream of you
I want to tell the moon we're strong
We're able to
Weather the storm, each gale and wave
Long distance strength, courageous and brave.

I want to hold your gentle hand
With fingers clasped
And on your shoulder rest my head
Ah home at last!
Close my eyes and hear you breathe
Just let my false misgivings leave.

Today...

A lovely day it was today
The sun, the air
My heart.
So calm, so peaceful
So ready to move on
Whatever's out there
Waiting to inspire me
Make me laugh
Sweep over my soul
Like an ocean breeze

And as the night
Quietly tiptoes in
And gently brushes its fingertips
Over my lashes
Tired, so tired -
I succumb to it's sprinkling
Of beach sand.

So goodnight.

=)

Just Live

(written July 12, 2004- Pensacola, FL)

I found out what it was like to live
I found out where hapiness hides
I now know what to take, to give
And where patient time abides

A smile a laugh from you to me
Is what keeps the river flowing
Just open your eyes and you will see
What it takes to keep on going

Sorrow is only passing sad
It comes and goes in storm
YOU decide how terribly bad
And then rise up in the morn

Sadness can be underlying
But happiness has it's place
No matter how often you think you're dying
Between the two it's just a race

A race to see which holds out most
And both seem great in turn
When one dominates the other's a ghost
Our hearts with raging fires burn

So live just LIVE!!!
Just learn and grow
Go on forget the madness
Take all in stride
And soon you'll know
No difference betwixt joy and sadness

The Roof

The rumble, the roar
Sounds men of ages
Have never heard before
Cats that steam, and birds that scream
And skittles helter-skelter.

Response of sorts

I read it, and read it again
And still it fills me with such
Great sadness.
And with the last line, I too-
I wonder. Where is she?
She's alone
But not lonely
Well, not all the time.
And my goodness.
I thought she was strong
But what is this gooeyness
You mention?
I do not like gooey.
And she- she shies away
From it.
And from those lines as well.
You're right my dear...
Where did she go?
Or did she ever leave?
Really.

Her name means worthy of being loved...

I hope it does you good.
Finally you took a step forward
Timorous, and tearful
But you did it.
Sure there was coaxing involved
And maybe some harsh words
But love, and faith
And oh so much hope-
All of those were involved too
And here you are!
A new beginning in a new day
And a whole new life...
Why?
Because you had the courage
To move
To be strong!

Apology....

I said I'd write
That very night
But did I? No-
Forgotten.

The lines did flow
That time ago
But they, unwrit
Remained.

So I idly sit
With eyebrows knit
But that day's theme
Departed.

Thus now I scheme
With thoughts that teem
For you, to write,
Sweet Kate.

My sisters.

Blue eyes, brown hair
O how I miss you dear!
Sweet laugh, silliness
O how I wish you were here.
The memories, and all the fun
Bonfires, long walks too,
Down by the river and up on the hill
And all our jokes both old and new

Ocean Day Dreaming

Top hat, coat tails
Crisp cuffs-
Details
The music swells
And hearts
As well
The orchestra
Tunes up.

She smiles at him
The lights
Go dim
He takes her hand
For ovations
Stand
Ah someday,
Someday!

Rock and Roll

There's a certain something in
The rolling of the ship and
The music inside my ears that
Promotes a sort of heart ache
And joy in life all at once.

hmmmm

Prosetry...

the word just presented itself to me at the end of a short thread of thought (if one can call the disjointed bits and peices that run through my head a thread... but certainly thought)...

i like it. prosetry.

(prōsětrē)

You give me strength

I was so worried for a moment
That the breath would not come
And the stinging of the bee
Was just my chest going numb
And the silence was as heavy
As deep water - tons per inch
But I fought the terror off
And drew the air with unseen winch

And slowly, so slowly
And carefully too
Give heart wherewithall to beat
And keep blood a healthy blue
The sun outside my window
Decides to shine as if it knew
And fought the clouds off
Just like I did
And will continue to.


To Cassie, Katie, and Amanda

Lofty thoughts

Sitting in the airplane on the way to my grandmother's funeral a couple days ago, I was drifting off to sleep when two poems sprang, almost simultaneously into my head...
One about my past, and the other about my present.

My Past:


You wanted to continue
Even 3000 miles away
You said to me I love you
And convinced my heart to stay
I din't know that you were cheating
And were married all along
That you had bought a house with her
And that she became a mom
The loneliness and the sorrow
You caused me for a year
ended the day that I found out
And I shed not one more tear
The anger helped me heal soon
And I forgave you 'cuz it's right
But I will never forget that wrong
Much worse than endless night.



Presently:

I look at you, my tongue ties up
Although I babble on
And slowly my heart is breaking
At the thought that you'll be gone.
And the hurt of an angry past
Prevents my willing soul
From speaking up and saying you're
One half of my one whole.
And you won't say a word
You never indicate
What it is you feel
Or whether I'm too late.
And so I'll close my eyes
Let tears fall till I sleep -
It seems the greatest thing I've found
Is a secret I must keep.

Au claire de la lune

Open and bright
Glowing so lovely
When the day kisses night
She blossoms

Timid and shy
His light so sweet
She says sad goodbye
And crumples

The shadow hides
The stems and vines
The moon pulls the tides
And her tears

Longs for the sun
Her life it shines
The world weighs a ton
O Moonflower.

So unsure

Have you ever gone swimming
In a doubtful sea?
Thick and dark like an inkpot...
Every hope stained
With a deep, cavernous hue
Every smile dimmed
By a voice unechoed
And so many chances not taken
For fear of drowning

Do you not feel the same;
Or will you rescue me?

Dayna's Musical

But my question is
Will I get it right?
I could just compose
Bad poetry all night
And never once arrive
Where truth lives.

Communication's not my thing
But at least I'm trying;
You were right you know...
If only I could sing
My every single thought
It might be easier.

Well how about that?
Let's sing everything!

And Then?

So, ok.. listen:
I'm not stupid, you know
But sometimes I wonder
Especially when I feel so.
Stubborn? yeah that's me
But what did you expect?
I'll pretend i don't care
And stifle weak regret.
A smile - a laugh
Yeah, so what?
Sometimes
You feel like a nut
Sometimes you don't
Know what I'm saying?
The disappointment inside
Won't keep me from playing.
So anywho... that's
That for tonight.
Maybe more later
Till I get it right.

cloudy eyes and sailing thoughts

Again on watch, as my poetry goes
It seems like my only inspiration these days.
The olympiad sounds from the screen behind
But it's near three am so it's all replays.
If you'll wait a moment, I'll make a note
In the duty log, zero three hundred -- secure
Four and a half hours left, thank god!
Then out of this uniform and in bed for sure.
I'm distracted you know, so much going on
In my head: a constant tornado of sorts;
And I'm exhausted, can't wait for my thoughts
-Dissapointed ships- to secure in their ports.
So, driving home, soon - not soon enough
I'll breathe "Deo Gratias" at the thought of my bed
I so welcome sleep, which keeps me from thinking
And for a moment erases the things that were said.

Standing Watch

I thought about writing tonight,
But haven't got the heart
Waiting on the pale sunlight
Another day to start.

Fighting sleep and dreams
I'll write anyway
My brain with nothing teems
Tired fingers delay.

Forgive these sleepy lines
Better some than none
More in daylight times
For now I'm done.