Anna Nalick

I love her music.

Especially this song... for some reason it's always stuck in my head, and I'm always humming it or singing it. And not just recently; pretty much ever since I heard it the first time a few years ago... weird. But it's pretty, fun, well written, and the words speak volumes. They're kinda defensive, and have a hint of attitude: like me.

Here it is:

"Consider This"

I've tripped again and things are starting to get interesting
Don't give me choices cause I can't decide
My mind is soaked in words
I've come to terms with all my insecurities
And purity's no friend of mine

And dreaming doesn't do no good
Cause I don't wanna lie
That I'm okay and I'm alright
I'd rather take it and forget it
Consider this a warning
Cause I'll start another fight
And you'll say its all alright
I'll wait for the day when you find I'm too much for you, baby
So lay your hands over me
And feel what you only see
But don't bother wasting your time if you're trying to change me

You're kinda cool but I know better than to break the rules
Of messin' with a lesson that I'll never learn
I'll go from bad to worse and later back to better
But I'll never better bridges that I'm bent to burn

And dreaming doesn't do no good
Cause I don't wanna lie
That I'm okay and I'm alright
I'd rather take it and forget it
Consider this a warning
Cause I'll start another fight
And you'll say its all alright
I'll wait for the day when you find I'm too much for you, baby
So lay your hands over me
And feel what you only see
But don't bother wasting your time if you're trying to change me

This is a warning
This is a warning
This is a warning

And dreaming doesn't do no good
Cause I don't wanna lie
That I'm okay and I'm alright
I'd rather take it and forget it
Consider this a warning
Cause I'll start another fight
And you'll say its all alright
I'll wait for the day when you find I'm too much for you, baby
So lay your hands over me
And feel what you only see
But don't bother wasting your time if you're trying to change me
If you're trying to change me
If you're trying to change me

Well,

Off to the boat soon.

Dear Lord... I know I'll see you out there on the water...

In a way, we sailors, we too walk on water, for months at a time. Working, sleeping, eating, praying.
Every day is like the one before, with little variation. Structured, I call it. Others call it monotonous. But for me, it's like a sweet release. A month out there becomes a single moment in time, where I can take a deep breath of salt-heavy air to clear my head, and sort out all the current craziness in my life. Then, forgetting it all in the rush and attention to detail that is involved in staying alive on a flight deck the hours fly by. Tumbling, whirling the hours become moments and before you know it, you're calling dibs on a shower, and you're soon climbing into a tiny rack. Tiny? well for some. But for my less than five foot two stature, the rack is not tiny. it's perfect. it's my safe haven where I can think about everything without distaction. Where I can reason, argue, see all sides of each story, and finally come to a conclusion. All by myself. A place where I can make decisions to change the things I can, and to accept the things I cannot change.

And a place where I can talk to God.

Like I said, dear Lord... I'll see you out there.

Love, from Dayna

URL

What now silly girl?


how appropriate.

=(

hmph

If you just realized...

dumb song. pretty, but stuck in my head since i just heard it on the way home...

almost there

It's almost time to go home... not home. Not my home. My home is here. I'm going to my parents' home, to my brothers' and sisters' home. To my past.
I mean, it's not like I grew up in that house, but I did grow up in that area; and many of my best friends are there.

hmmm... there's a very old post somewhere in my journal...

let me find it.

ah, here it is. Funny thing is that I wrote it exactly three years ago today! (or yesterday, I guess, since it's after midnight now)

.....

26AUG2005

Current mood:
thoughtful
Current music:
Vertical Horizon -- We Are
Entry tags:
heart
HOME...Where do you think of when you hear the word home? Do you think about the room or the house in which you live? Perhaps a town, a city, or a state? Your parents' residence? Do you think about a school, or a store, book-house, coffee shop? Or do you think about a certain group of friends, or a park, or a picture?Home is where the heart is, or so they say. This is so true... I just thought today about home... Rather, i had to stop and think about where my heart is.This is hard to admit, even to myself. My heart has been right here, in El Centro, with me; right here in my barracks room; right here at work on jets; right here during fod walk-down, and in the hot pits; right here in the ocean-like depths of Navy life. It has not been in Idaho with my family, in Oregon with my friends, in France with my greatest and most beloved teachers... it has not been rooted, either, in the Greatest Good. In realizing this, i became confused. If home is where the heart is, then my home is right here, and the Navy is my home. Certainly, i have said many times that the Navy IS my life... and this seems to be true: it is what I live and breathe.Then why am I happy? If my heart is not with all that went into making me who i am, does that make me ungrateful? i am certainly prideful, i realize that. But really, has it taken me so far?Maybe i'm just imagining things... maybe i really do care so very much about all that. Is it possible that things can come along in life that tend to overshadow all of this? I was in love once; that certainly overshadowed everything.But I thought that love was the only thing that could do that...Perhaps... well, it is possible to be in love, and the object of that love not a person. Right? Perhaps... that may be the answer to my own question.Let me think.

.....


Granted, I was a -relatively- young airman then, and i've grown up some, and changed my ideas a little bit... but i still have the same conjecture i guess. for example me saying the navy is my life... well now it's become a part of my life rather than my be all end all... it's just a part of growing up and growing great...


Well, time to get ready to leave.

eh?

Mais, qu'est qu'il a?

je sais pas.

Ou, je sais, en fait... mais comment dire?

Alors!

Dayna's Musical

But my question is
Will I get it right?
I could just compose
Bad poetry all night
And never once arrive
Where truth lives.

Communication's not my thing
But at least I'm trying;
You were right you know...
If only I could sing
My every single thought
It might be easier.

Well how about that?
Let's sing everything!