A Missed Calling

(This is old... from Feb. 27th '06... recently ran across it in my livejournal... it kinda fits tonights reminiscing mood)

So despite what Chrysteen told me, sometimes I feel that I've missed my calling. Today is a lovely day. And as usual, I am filled with joy and satisfaction when I think about where I am and what I am doing: I would rather be no where else than where I am right now. I love my life, I love the navy, I love the work i do for her. But there are days also like today, where there is another current, an underlying one, which whispers in my ear... The doors and windows are thrown wide open to catch the light breeze from the outside, and fill my house with the warm smell of the desert in spring. The sink is full of tepid water, and soaking dishes, and the washer and dryer make the soft clicks and clinks that are their way of putting in their two cents. My toes are cold from stepping on the wet tiles of the kitchen floor which I just washed, and my sleeves are pushed up past my elbows to release the warmth of that workout. A half cup of coffee by my elbow patiently awaits re-heating, as it has been forgotten, along with the rest of the household chores, in deference to one of the two laptops which have taken up permanent residence on the dining room table...Colorful sounds pour out of said laptop, and penetrate every space of the surrounding area. Ah music! How it permeates one's being with hopes and fears, longings, memories, dreams, losses. Elation and depression, all at once. It makes sorrows heavier, and spirits lighter; and chores, easier or harder, depending on whether one chooses to clean with the rhythm, or give in to the urges to dance and sing. Lost in the swirling, dizzying, intoxication brought on by all these sensations, I fall into a dreamland, and suddenly am waiting for the little ones to wake from their naps, so that we can go to the bus stop to greet the older one after school. Dinner is planned, and ready to be started while helping out with homework, and although tired from the days housework and errands, the thought that my love will soon be home stirs up a new energy in me, and calms somewhat the insanity going on inside...And suddenly, jolted out of my daydreams by the overly obnoxious buzz which the dryer decided would best capture my attention, I realize that maybe I missed my calling. But then again, I never met anyone who could help me solidify that hazy hallucination. Maybe... maybe despite my chosen career, I will still live in that world. Someday, maybe...